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Home Katfish The Dirty Secrets of FCI Big Spring, Texas How Many Convicts Can You Get In One Car?
How Many Convicts Can You Get In One Car? PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Katfish   
Thursday, 18 June 2009 00:09

**Editor's Note: This blog has been altered to the tune of the official names of the official employees. This has been done to protect Katfish. Although he will be disappointed, as he wanted it all out there, our legal advisers have said that it would be in his best interest to NOT post the names. So, sorry Fish hun, we are looking out for YOU! As far as each individual spoken about here, you know who you are, and shame on you. 

"How Many Convicts Can You Get In One Car?"

Welcome back to the never ending Big Spring FCI Carnival of idiots in uniform.


Let's begin with a particular nurse, dubbed Dr. Doom- whose job it is to control epidemic outbreaks. The chickenpox comes to Big Spring yearly. Dr. Doom puts people w/pox in the hole in the mistaken belief that she's checking the illnesses progress. She has not been successful in doing anything other than filling the hole up. Now comes the Swine Flu. Dr. Doom holds meetings on each floor declaring the Swine Flu a national disaster practically. She doomsday's her fat ass off, managing to scare the shit out of most the population. She's again w/the isolation in the hole if you begin to come down with flu like symptoms. She's pretty proud of herself for also suggesting shutting an entire dorm down and using it as a sick ward. Dr. Doom lives mostly on another planet. What her little



dorm meetings have accomplished is to convince everyone that if they do get sick they sure won't tell medical because if they do they'll go to the hole for having the sniffles. Thanks for the heads up Doom; you're the last person who will know if any of us get sick. Also, I recently read an article that came out in People Magazine declaring the Swine Flu an overblown threat. Stand down Dr. Doom. You'll claim the flu while Physicians Assistant #3 will declare Athlete's foot cream purchased off the commissary will cure it. And before moving on to the next act, Animal (the fella who had throat cancer which Physician's Assistant #3 diagnosed as an infection for 10 long months which is now serious and life threatening to Animal) sent a letter to TFTC bcuz, you know, the Feds don't like us convicts to get together and compare notes, so they ban convict to convict mail. Now you all know why. So Animal is letting TFTC know his condition. I have been assured that the public will get to read the updates on him. Have you sent your card to him yet? Look in previous blog for his address. We are keeping an eye on him.


Our next Bozo is a vocational instructor named Kenny. Mister Kenny simply lost his mind the other day on my bunky, whose name is "Trouble". Nearly every convict here carries a prison issue brown washrag in their pocket. For the last week it's been in the extra high nineties and even over into triple digit temperatures. Being from the Mountains I can't begin to tell you how much I hate West Texas. At any rate, Trouble was on his way to have his HVAC class when Kenny singled him out and demanded Trouble stuff his rag all the way into his pocket. Trouble was sentenced to 30 years for killing a fellow soldier on base during a personal conflict. He began his sentence 9 years ago at "The Castle", better known as Leavenworth USP. Trouble didn't like the way Kenny yelled at him. They argued and Kenny played his "Yer-going-to-the-hole" card. Trouble ended up in the Lieutenant's office where good old level-headed Lt. Wood chose not to put Trouble in the hole. Kenny insists having a brown prison issue washrag in your pocket means you're part of a prison gang. Well I'll be fucked. I carry a washrag too, it's used to wipe the perpetual sweat off my pointy head. Good thing Kenny let me (and 500 other convicts) know we were part of the prison wash-rag gang bcuz I had no clue. "Hey, Kenny!, Thanks for the heads up. Tell me more. Is there a tattoo I can get? Imagine my embarrassment if I get the wrong tattoo, man. Hey- can I be in the group photo?" Truth be known, Kenny would rather declare a prison issue washrag a sign of a prison gang than admit he had gone overboard. Fool.


Now if I may direct your attention to the center ring; The Education Department. Meet Miss Power Shopper, she who is over everything in the prison school. I want you to picture in your mind a short dump woman with a ridiculous hair cut dyed orangish blonde whom bears an uncanny resemblance to Jim Carey as the Grinch- I shit thee not. Power Shopper has been accused by other C.O.s of wasting time and energy in manufactured contention which resulted in a lost government funding for the e-mail links among other things. Power Shopper has some type of personal issue with computers it would seem. The Rosetta Stone is a world wide renown foreign language course which was designed for use with computers. Power Shopper purchased this Rosetta Stone, then quite simply squashed any efforts to begin the computer course. When asked why, she responded with, "Because I said so, that's why." She spent the money on the program, then squashed it. Does this make sense to you? But wait, this gets better. Many prisons in the Western Region sell hand-held calculator sized translators. Receiving (here in Big Spring) has allotted said translators in when a transferred convict's property arrives. Translators are, in fact, a most excellent tool for learning Spanish, this one was brought to Miss Power Shopper's  attention. "Miss Power Shopper, how about you allow us to purchase a $25.00 electronic translator from Radio Shack?" She freaked out. She not only screamed "No!!", she also took it upon herself to declare those same translators sold on commissary in Federal Maximum and Medium security prisons as contraband in this FCI BIG SPRING, a LOW security prison. Do not bother coming to talk to me now, Power Shopper; you didn't want to hear us when we wanted to discuss these issues, I damn sure am not going to listen to you now. Miss Power Shopper is someone who should have never ever been given authority because she's wasted BIG money. Then again, perhaps she's a perfect government employee. I say this in comparison to the same U.S. Government that allocated $50,000.00 for the development of a pen the astronauts could use in space. The Russians solved this issue by sending their cosmonauts into space with a pencil. Think about that. Even the cops over at Unicor have zero respect for Power Shopper, electing to e-mail her thru the BOP computer system a picture of a Jack-ass on Christmas Eve. This in response to her refusal to let everyone off an hour early.


Our next Crusty the Clown award goes to W. Big Dog. Listen: Every single book ever written on crowd psychology concludes that the three main contributors to prison riots are, Overcrowding (plenty of that here), Noise (ditto that), and Heat. Before Big Dog arrived in Big Spring, they kept the air conditioning on in the dorms so it was actually pleasant and cool. I've never seen a riot INSIDE the dorms yet. This doesn't mean it hasn't happened before. Nevertheless, I've been a hostage in Texas for 4 years now and I haven't seen it. Then last  year W. Big Dog suddenly decides to endorse some mysterious BOP memo which mandates all government/public buildings have their thermostats at 74 degrees. Not actually a bad move energy wise, in theory. Only up here, in the real world of prison dorms, what the thermostat is set at is irrelevant because it remains near 80 inside most of the time. As I sit and write this at 7:45am, I am even now sheened with sweat because warm air is being blown into an already overheated dorm. On the other hand, when I enter the Doctor's Offices at medical, the offices over at Mental Health Services, the Case Manager/Counselor Offices, or the offices in Education, it's cool, crisp and fresh. Naturally. And whenever this disparity is brought to the Big Dog's  attention, he simply posts yet another memo which declares he's simply following a directive of Washington D.C. Clearly the directive does NOT apply to BOP staff or their offices. Furthermore I  have personally eyewitnesses escalated tensions and a dramatic increase in fights since the Warden turned up the heat. When I mentioned the escalated tensions and then predicted the possibility of another riot (two very recent close calls) to an LT-whom shall remain nameless in my desire to keep him shooting straight up with me- he simply shrugged his shoulders and muttered, "About time. We could use the overtime."



So let's review the three major contributors of prison riots- A) Overcrowding, B) Noise and now C) Heat, which the Warden insists on adding to an already volatile situation. Why? Because he wants some overtime? Fuck that, I hardly think that's the case. So why then would the powers that be so carefully orchestrate the three things necessary to set off this potential powerkeg? You gotta wonder.



Our next attraction is cause for concern. Meet C.O. Bob Barker. Barker has developed a personal dislike for convict Cuevas, aka "Shrek". At one point during a "random shakedown" (random as in Bob Barker entering Dorm 3 and bee lining directly to Shrek's locker and NO others),  felt Shrek had way too many commissary items. Barker suspected Shrek of running a prison store, so he confiscated the entire locker and moved it into the 3rd floor office. Shrek was able to produce receipts for everything, thus Lt. Hero returned Shrek his locker and it's contents. Now fast forward 2 months. C.O. Bob Barker does this again, only with a slight twist: He completely empties Shrek's locker into duffel bags. He did it this way because Barker was now able to locate and then destroy Shrek's receipts. This made it harder for Shrek to recover his property. During Shrek's efforts to get his shit back, he came and told me, "That motherfucking Bob Barker called me into his office. Said he'd give me my shit back if I'd play ball with him and tell him who's bringing in weed and tobacco. Told him to eat shit and die. He can't coerce us like that, can he?" Truth be told, I don't know the answer to that question.


Shrek did recover his stuff again ( Bob Barker apparently didn't know that the commissary kept computerized receipts for each convict). The harassment continues.

Meet SIS Officers Vince and Dopey (called VD for a reason). Vince looks very much like Jack from the kids movie, "A Nightmare Before Christmas". He spends much of his time walking around wearing short leather interrogation gloves. Is kind of comical actually. Dopey? Hmm....imagine an Organ Grinder on the Corner. Dopey is the chattering black little monkey on the leash. This is a far more accurate description than you'd think.


These two guys, Vince and Dopey, are in charge of gang activity. Here, in Big Sprung, certain gang members are not allowed to walk the yard by other gang members. Some of the gangs not allowed are "Texas Syndicate" and "Aztecas". Okay, so a bus comes in and a couple of the fellas on there are TS or A's- whatever- and they declare themselves as such; it's the SIS officer's job to keep them off the yard so they don't get in a wreck. This is real policy. Only VD, they hate their own agenda. They push these rival members out onto the compound knowing they'll be hurt. Often padlocks are tied to the end of belts and employed to crack skulls. Once down on the ground, the steel toed boots (not so much steel anymore, carbon fiber bcuz it doesn't set off the metal detectors) are brought into play. Believe you me, I've had the boots taken to me before, and the damage inflicted is substantial. The now bloodied and broken fellas are carted up to medical. Believe me, I've seen a couple TS members actually beg for PC only to be told, "Come back lumped up and then we'll put you in Protective Custody." VD then uses this episode of violence as an excuse to haul in various suspected "shotcallers" (see upcoming blog, "The Shotcaller Question") and try to intimidate them. It's nearly impossible to be intimidated by a cartoon and a Organ Grinder Monkey. So anyway, why is it VD can continue jeopardizing lives? Is it going to take a murder-most-foul to put a halt to VD's intentional provocations? Keep an eye on this one too because instead of protecting rival gang members from one another, the job at which they were hired to do, as is the goddamned policy of SIS- they instead spend an inordinate amount of time protecting child molesters here. I ask you, what is this strange attraction VD has to the Child Molesters? Vince and Dopey: Guardians of the Baby Rapers.



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Brenda   |98.247.46.xxx |2009-06-20 04:15:03
Maybe you should write to whoever it is that you g uys write too and suggest the
y build an isolation room for the ill...I know it sounds like I am in l a la la
nd but in order for change to occur you hav e to start somewhere...

Linda  - A prison wife is mad as hell!!!   |76.121.95.xxx |2009-09-13 18:31:16
Oooh makes me so mad they can get away wit h these things, WE ARE ALL HU
MAN BEINGS, Somebody should Lock thier asses up for awhile and show how it fee
ls to be so degraded for a change, No wonde r they want to riot all the time.. g
ood writing wo rth reading... linda
CrimsonMoon  - Another prisoner's wife   |108.43.160.xxx |2012-07-06 01:01:21
I just rec'd a letter from my husband (who is curr ently a guest at FCI Big Spri
ng), who informed me that they had a guy complaining about the signs an d sympt
oms of chicken pox for quite a bit. He exp osed his whole dorm plus. Needless
to say, this p risoner has the chicken pox and/or shingles. Bein g a nurse (I a
lso do correctional nursing), I know this is very dangerous even life threateni
ng with so many people being exposed. These guys are pay ing their debt to soc
iety, but that is no reason t o treat them like second class people.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 10 November 2009 23:42